Relationship therapy and relationship breakdown : It’s a kind of magic

On 11 September, we are hosting a live webinar event with our guest speaker, Bonnie Davies, who is a specialist relationship therapist.

You think of a relationship therapy and you probably think marriage guidance. You might think of a couple locked in a downward spiral of hostility as their marriage collapses. You might be thinking of your own relationship. You might be thinking it’s too late.

But it may not be.

When you first fall in love, it’s all so easy. You’re a partnership of equals – you share your hopes and your dreams and together you’re unstoppable. Then one or both of you start to get serious about work, your careers. Maybe kids come along and one of you has to take a back seat. Maybe you stop speaking so much. You’re too busy, you’re too tired. You’ve got an important meeting in the morning, the baby’s been awake all night. You get through it. You start to become financially secure. The kids are growing up, going to university. The pressure’s off. You turn to each other … and find you’ve got nothing to say.

Or maybe you haven’t reached that stage yet. You’re floundering in the unrelenting early years of parenthood. Exhausted, resentful, unable to string a sentence together, let alone have a meaningful conversation. It’s easier not to say anything. Until it isn’t.

Or maybe you’re working hard, trying to establish a career, trying to make enough money to provide for your family. You’d like to spend more time at home, but you no longer feel welcome. You miss the days when you felt closer, but everything you say is met by silence or recriminations.

Or maybe you don’t want to listen anymore, or your partner won’t listen to you. You feel hurt. Old resentments resurface. “I hate it when you …”, “You always do that …” “You never listen …”

A cold silence descends.

These are all familiar stories. Only a very fortunate few are able to maintain a blissfully happy relationship with no effort. For most people, long-term relationships take effort and require constant attention. Most of all they depend on communication, but once that starts to break down it can really feel like there’s no going back.

But it doesn’t have to be like this. I know, because I’ve seen what can be achieved through expert and skilful relationship therapy. Two members of my own family hadn’t spoken for years. It made family gatherings awkward to say the least! Eventually, they were bundled against their will into relationship therapy. Neither of them wanted to be there, but neither of them wanted to be seen to be the one that walked away! It was hopeless from the start.

But something magical happened. They started to listen to each other. And with that, they started to hear each other, properly, for the first time.

Now they have a good relationship and both say that life is all the richer and happier for it.

That’s why I have a special interest in relationship therapy. I have seen its power. I know that it can work actual miracles. So when I talk to my clients about the possibility of relationship therapy, I do so with conviction, and if it appears that there is any chance that two people can talk it out, I point them in the direction of therapy.

But if it really is all over, relationship therapy can help a couple to separate better: with kindness and dignity. An ending like that honours the way the relationship began: with love rather than with anger.

Our guest speaker, Bonnie Davies, deals with the magic every day, and she’s going to speak to us about what she does, how it works and how it could work for you. Please join us.

The webinar is anonymous, which means that neither your face nor your name will appear on the screen and none of the other participants will know that you’re there. You can even ask questions anonymously at the end.

It’s free, and we hope that it will provide everyone with an opportunity to learn about this particular brand of magic. Book on to our free anonymous Couples Counselling and Relationship Breakdown webinar.

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